I was born when Al-Uzza traversed to the other side of the sky, made her descend into the Underworld. Invisible to the eye of man, priest and priestess alike, she defied her guise as the morning star and laid down her pride and the precious gifts that adorn her nature. She seems lost to us now. But the wise ones of old observed how she would reappear, transformed, to guide our souls as the evening star, time and time again. I trust in that.
I was made in the image and likeness of the Almighty to love beyond boundaries and bones, beyond religious rules and social norms, my heart too big for this one being and the confines of this world. It was scattered to pieces long ago, purposefully, and infinitely, it seems, and dispersed on the breeze of Life for the benefit of all. It kindled a quest in me that lasts, still, till this very day, to gather my Self through those who somehow have gotten hold of me. I need to unlock and recollect the fragmented aspects of this life of mine, enriched and purified, in order to re-member and realign myself with Truth.
I am here to serve Truth all my days on this earthly plane, every breath and heartbeat attesting of my vow to pass on the teachings of the God/dess. I am coming closer to Home. I am coming Home. I am Home.
S/He left me puzzled with a desire so vast and deep I did not understand, at first. It troubled my young and weary mind, thinking it had to conform. I was who and what I was not meant to be. I despised myself. I denied myself my true colours. Confused and ashamed I searched in vain for meaning during the day, whereas I found insights and initiation in places darker than I thought I would ever travel. Al-Uzza’s mercy shields me; her fierce nature protects me and leads my spirit to safer shores, where once I will be made whole again, glorious, afire.
The girl I was has become a woman now. My lovers are many, dear as can be, their inner beauty and light unequalled. Each one is a treasure of kind, a gem in the crown of Life, gifted to me like I was gifted to Source for them to discover me.
My lovers pour forth from my being either water or wine, depending on their thirst, their art and understanding- but only he who knows the depth of this Existence is allowed the delight of my milk, sweet like honey, unbudding almond and orange blossoms on his tongue, liquid fire in his loins, stardust rewiring his brains.
My quest left me with an inextricable longing to reach the station of reunion through an insatiable hunger for experience, in all ranges of this spectre.
Oh you, who somehow got hold of a piece of my heart, do you see now why we resonate and connect? There are no strings attached to this encounter, and yet we are in tune. We will be played by the One and Only Musician orchestrating this Creation till we ring in harmony. Only then are we allowed to set ourselves free and move on, dissolve in peace and absolution.
Don’t be afraid of the well.
Grace divine preceded our blessed encounter, and neither of us will look away from the other. I see you and I sense you. I have been already in your arms before we even met. You have already left me before you made me rest in your embrace. Yet the bird of this love was born wild and free and so we will be and remain, leaving when Spring calls and returning with the change of seasons when Fall is upon us, beckoning us back to that place and space within our reach, always present, subtly hidden underneath the outer layers of our awareness.
AYA DÜRST BRITT 